Aspergers, Conversation and Imagination
By Jessika Endsley
Hi this is Dizzy, and I am going to talk about my imagination.
Yes I'm in a new room again, this is my new room. So you'll see this more than the green one. So anyway, I'm thinking there might be a relationship between my Aspergers and my imagination. I am in constant use of my imagination. It's not because I've practiced to do so - I'm usually having a minor out of body experience, a sensation I'm a foreign organism in slow motion. I know this probably makes me seem extremely Schizotypal but whatever.
Another issue we have here is that I am - because I am emotionally quite a bit younger than I am intellectually and my actual age… my conversations are influenced. So my conversations are very influenced by the fact that emotionally I might be a younger teen and intellectually I am way beyond that. The conversations I have are very one-way other than my monologues. The other person has to do the heavy lifting to talk with me.
So yeah there's the extreme issue with small-talk, like Aspies do tend to have, so talking is not my department. Although I write a lot, and when I write, I write a lot of dialogue, because my characters have a lot to say to each other. Even the main female character, Erika, who is socially oblivious, can converse better than I do. So what is it exactly that my characters have that I don't? And if I identify that and mimic it, could I fit in with NT's when I wanted to?
For some reason my character's conversations are relatively, you know, believable. And they're just normal conversations that regular people would have but if I'm in that situation I don't function correctly. People I made up in my head and write about do. So is Aspergers related? I was thinking it might be because I have time to process what's going to be said by each character when I'm writing and I don't have time to process things in person, ‘cause when I d I get looked at with that usual "you gonna reply?" or people will just lose interest and run off before I process what they said. So…forget talking. Of course I could always blame in on the fact my characters can't interrupt another when they speak and people do. I really hate that. I really hate that… when I'm talking everybody else has to shut up. So, there's that… correlation with Aspergers and Conversation, and imagination.