Aspies' Lament

By Jessika Endsley


Hi, this is Dizzy, welcome to my backyard. When you have Aspergers, there are a lot of awkward, uncomfortable things that go along with having it. And some funny things. I wouldn't trade having Aspergers for being Neurotypical but it definitely has its advantages on some things. So I wrote down some of the things that go on for me personally due to Aspergers Syndrome:

The art of long-distance hugging. People particularly females, like to hug eachother. When I encounter this, something strange happens…cause like, can I hug you from back here? Can I stop now? And then they look at you weird and I'm like "can we still be friends? Sorry about that." People rolling their eyes at you as soon as you say the word "logic" or the word "subjective" or the word "objective." Because to most people, those words mean very little. Having a conversation with someone new is the equivalent to playing with fire socially. Being 21 years old and driving like a grandmother. A blind grandmother. People thinking I have Tourette's because some of the faces I make and stimming I do while processing information. Having the best and most unique dress at prom, and dancing alone. That one's fun. I'm surprised I didn't end up on Youtube like that. I must have looked crazy. When you know the subject so well and so passionately that the professor asks you to leave the class. Every day.

Running into things is part of my daily routine. Your friends know all the words to your favorite music because you play it over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And when your friends start to know all the words to every episode of the series you are obsessed with because you play it over and over and over and over. When you walk into Starbucks and they just start making the usual because they know you're not switching it up. Shut up bird! Sh. It's driving me crazy. You need big flashing lights and a musical number to know someone's interested in you. Your friends are your friends. Yours. Constant reassurance is needed to know that your partner still loves you. You finish your monologue way after everyone else has started speaking over you. I'm not wearing that it's itchy. You're in a disability class and all your other classes are honors. People ask "how many times a day do you say that." Yeah…I can be redundant.

You want to spend time with your friends but you don't want to be put in a straitjacket ten minutes after being in a club. If you can't be the leader you're going to be a loner. People hate your compulsive need to correct them because it makes you seem like a know it all. Maybe you are a know it all. I am. People tell you your eyes are beautiful until you actually make eye contact and then they're kind of like "Whoa your eyes are creepy." People ask why a thesaurus is on your pillow and you wonder "Why wouldn't a thesaurus be on my pillow." Everyone needs bedtime reading material, right? You feel rude refusing food but you're pretty sure it would be more rude if you were to gag on it because of the texture. You cycle through maybe 4 outfits. 4 non-itchy outfits. You eat the same thing for breakfast for several years at the same time of day. You get stuck at a light unable to tell if you can turn in time to no get hit, always. The people driving behind you hate you. Getting attached to people and they call you a stalker. It happens. So these are things that happen to me, in regards to my Aspergers Syndrome and I'm sure there's a lot of others but I really just don't feel like thinking of them right now, especially because it's like really hot out here. So, what are yours, leave them in the comments. Thank you and have a good day.

Sexy girl with Aspergers

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1.  Michael    Wednesday, June 6, 2018

I can relate to most of those. But I don't drive. Or gag on food. I'm not picky with food. I'll eat anything. Clothes are itchy yes. I like the taste of all foods but some more than others and many I love. I do the same thing repeatedly until I get bored and then I switch it for something else that I do repeatedly.

I love repetition but I like to repeat something until it gets annoying and then change it to something else. The repetition is always exciting at first, and it gets less and less exciting until it's no fun anymore so I switch it for something else.

Words like "subjective" and "Objective" are of course important. So are words like "phenomenological" and "noumenal", "epistemological" and "ontological." But if folks don't like even basic important words they're sure as hell not gonna be interested in them.

Yes I am a know it all too. There's nothing wrong with being correct right? We should all be entitled to correct each other. Somebody's gotta be right. Right?

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After Saturday comes?