About "Aspergirls" by Rudy Simone
By Jessika Endsley
This is Dizzy, and I've decided to start giving information from the book "Aspergirls" by Rudy Simone. It helped myself and someone who I was involved with in understanding me. I've highlighted several things so this will be in several parts. It explains things a lot better than I can do on my own, because Asperger's does influence emotions, which I detach myself from. So, things that, as adults, really of any age, that's when they're 18 or 17 or whatever your regulations require, find out we have Asperger's from awareness, knowing, validation, relief, worry, anger, and finally acceptance. It is much like the grieving process. We find out what we have, if we're diagnosed as adults like I was, and we go through a process of dealing with it. So, some things I've highlighted that I think maybe people should know, because it kind of gets under my skin that people just don't listen, and they probably never will listen, but I'll try. People with Asperger's love information! Hello Youtube, look at my channel. It gives us an identity and it's something we can control. Control is a key factor. We have a voracious appetite for information. And early ability to read and comprehend beyond our years, which is hyperlexia, gives young Aspergirls an air of intellectual maturity that tricks people into thinking we process emotional maturity as well. This is false. It hides the autism. We seem a lot more intellectual, well we are more intellectual than perhaps someone our own age. But emotionally, we're not as mature. It hides the autism. That's why I get so many you know, laughing and eye rolling idiots responding to my informative display that I have Aspergers, as so many of you do also, as I've learned.
"Almost everything I know is self-taught". This is something said by a girl with Asperger's. She did poorly in school, but is an extremely smart person. Another girl said "Experts tell me that people with Asperger's have a higher than average IQ, yet we don't always project practical intelligence. " I myself have no common sense. If it was common, a lot more people would have it. So, I understand this issue. Children with Asperger's have a higher rate of "fluid intelligence" than non-autistic children. "Fluid intelligence" is the ability to see order in confusion, to draw inferences and understanding relationships of seemingly unrelated things. Well, okay.
When I was a child, I did this. I was worried at age seven about possibly getting a job to help my mother with bills. It was the logical explanation although I didn't realize that my age would be quite an issue. But in my now daily life, or nightly life since I haven't been sleeping during the night lately, I've been trying to make a living off of what I know, just like writers. I've been told maybe I should change my subject topic of my writing, but any very successful writer would tell you, write what you know. So I write what I know, and I hope for the best. Non-comprehending things the way other people do is fine in academia, because we usually find our own methods, but in social situations, the same tendency plays out differently. We can't always impose our own rules and priorities on others. This is true. Not everybody likes to plan ahead. Almost every INTJ person I've talked to has been very nervous around people who don't plan, and every single person with Asperger's I've talked to has had difficulties with people who do not plan. Our own rules and priorities are above all. Like I said, we are kin, maybe cousins to what may be considered a psychopath. Like I said, this stare. Okay. It is not uncommon for us, when we're young, to ask too many questions of others. This makes then uncomfortable.
A lot of Asperger's children are "why" children. Most children are "why" children, but Asperger's children are even worse. They want to know why they have to put their dishes away. Why this, why that, why in every single circumstance until you want to blow your brains out. Just because we like to arrange crayons by color or alphabetize our toys does not mean we don't want to use them. This is true. I might not look like I have a neatest room but for me it's extremely organized. Everything is filed, everything is in its place. And just because I arrange my shoes in a very particular fashion does not mean I don't use them. You just not worry. One girl said, who has Asperger's, "Put a pencil in my hand and I turn into the human copy machine. " I feel like this might be common among females with Asperger's. This was followed by another female person with Asperger's.
Another reason autism may be overlooked is that our obsessions do usually fall under the heading of 'normal' girlhood things like books, music, art and animals. I would fake being sick so that I could stay home and read. I know this all too well. I didn't want to go to school and learn the bullcrap they were learning. To me it was bullcrap. I wanted to stay home and read. By age seven I had read "To Kill a Mockingbird" on my own, and I was working on "War and Peace". Hyperlexia - meh. I like it. But not, you know, not in exchange for you know, discalculia. But either way, I'm probably going to be either one or the other, but I'm hyperlexic, and I'm proud of this. I learned to read at an early age.
Another thing said by an Asperger's female: "information replaces confusion, which many of us experience in interactions with others. " Absolutely! I don't know how to communicate with people. They say stupid things. Information fills a void as we don't seem to have much of an identity of our own when we're young. When I was young I could completely identify with this, although now I do have my identity. One Christmas, my father saw the family offered a better, expensive gift for the holiday. Instead of a TV or computer, video game, whatever might have you as, you know, something maybe an 8 or 9 year old would like. But a a leather-bound encyclopedia set. I read the entire thing. It was 20-something volumes.
Another thing that I highlighted. When we are in the zone, we do have a hard time with taking breaks, going to the toilet, eating, drinking, grooming, getting fresh air or exercise. It can also impinge upon getting a job, going to work, and other crucial activities. It would be much more helpful for those with Asperger's, especially those who are female, for people to know this. But they won't look into it, because they just don't give a - And yes I dirated that myself, it's not Youtube. Okay, I marked off a whole passage here. Another difference between Aspergirls and neuro-typical girls is that the latter do tend to grow out of their childhood passions and into more so-called age-appropriate activities. We will still engage in the same activities all of our lives. But this isn't necessarily a bad thing. If Mozart wasn't obsessed with music, would not the world be lesser for it? Who cares? Okay. Advice to Aspergirls.
I'm about to be 21 years old. Do you really think I consider myself an Aspergirl anymore? Life is about making a contribution, not about being popular or fitting in. I fucking disagree with this. Life is everything about fitting in. Unless you hit it big, shot in the dark, you better fit in in some way, or you better be extremely smart. Most people are not. Advice to parents. Do not criticize her for being a bookworm. How many parents do that? I don't know. My mother encouraged it. But I'm assuming most female children at not bookworms and they would prefer to participate in more grown-up activities, or just played what everybody else played. And that's not my problem. But the issue here is adult females with Asperger's who are not taken into account, and I think that many people would benefit from at least getting to know people like us. So, I do have many friends who are female and have Asperger's, and not a single one of them is scary or seems "retarded". Thank you.