INTJ Female

By Jessika Endsley


INTJ-femaleHi, this is Dizzy, and I'm a female INTJ. There is a debate in the Myers-Briggs community about whether or not female INTJs actually exist or not. I find this actually kind of laughable because I score almost 100% on every single aspect of I, N, T, J. I believe the most common type for a female is ESFP. If you're an ESFP, get the fuck away from me. I don't want to be around you; you're the most surface type person there is. You're an Extrovert, which makes you someone who only deals with external factors of life; that's not entirely true, but that's how you come across to me and it gets on my nerves. You're Sensory, which means you're going to want to hug me. Don't do that. You're Feeling, which means you're going to base all your decisions on your gut instinct, which is most likely wrong, because you're an Extrovert and you're Sensory. And you're a Perceiver. If you don't have a list or an agenda or a plan, get out of my face.

Anyway, about INTJs... Yeah, my introversion is extremely high. I have no friends. I'm okay with this fact. If that makes me a hermit, I don't really care. It's not that I would dislike having friends, but finding friends who are suitable to be around me and I could deal with them and they can deal with me is extremely difficult. As far as being an actual INTJ: I fit the whole thing perfectly. People think that I'm annoyed or upset when I'm really just thinking. I could be totally spaced out, calm and comfortable and people will think that I am entirely pissed. This is something I would term the "INTJs stare," which I think anybody with a J and a T would have. Efficiency is top priority for me. But another aspect of being an INTJ is that we space out a lot, that's because we're constantly thinking. You think we have time to think about tying our shoes? No, because we're trying to cure cancer and we're trying to murder some dictator in another country, and we're also trying to figure out whether or not God exists all at the same moment. So that is why we forget to tie our shoes, forget to lock our cars and forget our names. So absent-minded we are, male or female.

That's not to say that hormones don't come into play for the very few female INTJs. Yes, we do have our periods. We do get our PMS. I do feel that we interact with it a little differently than the typical FP type of female; not much different when they're on PMS 'cause they're always tripping about, "Oh, I have to paint my nails. Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me. Oh, this. Oh, my life is so sad. Oh, everything is so colourful." Yeah, I don't care. Shut up and go talk to your Barbie. I don't care. Don't talk to me. Maybe this is why I never had female friends growing up. Maybe this is why I was such a tomboy, 'cause I just really cannot stand that. I keep going off topic on a rampage about how much I hate ESFPs or FPs in general when that's not really what I'm intending to do. Like I said, spaced out.

Typical female thing, watching romance movies. No, not going to happen. You try to make me watch a romance movie, I'm going to throw up on your face and walk out. And then I'm going to laugh at you while you barf because I barfed on you. And then I'm going to go walk into the next room and watch a horror movie and laugh the entire time and make everybody extremely uncomfortable. Yes, that's how it works. I watch someone get stabbed on TV and I'm like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you're smarter than the hero. Clap, clap, clap. Good for you." And by clap I don't mean the disease. My boyfriend is in the room with me and he's laughing and I'm not sure why. But it is infectious.

Let's see. Stupid people annoy me. That's not to say all INTJs are smart. They're not. They should be, if they want to utilize their personality. And I'm not getting into Socionics with this crap. Let's see... INTJs, we tend to lack empathy. What are you laughing at? We tend to lack empathy, which is not a feminine trait, at all. I've been told I'm an extremely aggressive person. Rude, blunt, bitch, whatever you want to call it. I'm fine with it, because I don't care. You don't like me, get away from me. It's okay. And if you're ESFP, definitely get away from me, because I'll cut you, verbally. My brain never stops moving. I feel that's pretty much a constant theme for INTJs, regardless of gender. Most females are FPs.

What are you laughing at? There's nothing funny about this. You've lost your mind. Yeah, boyfriend's throwing me off now, 'cause he's laughing and I'm not sure what I've said is funny at all or if just gone off the rocker.

There's a site, here, that says, "Part of being an INTJ is when you greet a person with the term, 'I've been thinking about... ". I just realized I do that on a daily basis with the two people, in total I talk to. I've been thinking about how aliens and dolphins are related in some fact. Finding loopholes in anything, scientifically, religiously or anything. I will go out of my way to prove other people wrong. But if they're right I'll admit it and then walk off. I've a tendency to speak in the same fashion as a textbook, and people have taken notice of this. One of these people includes my boyfriend and one includes my therapist. So now I have a new nickname and it is, "Textbook". So maybe I should change my YouTube name from Dizzy to Textbook.

I've a tendency to speak and then people will look at me and say, "What?" That's happened to me, a lot. And then I'm like, "Okay, if you didn't get it the first time, then get out of my face, FP". I'm obsessed with typology. I will sit at a table with people I've never met, I randomly blurt out, "ESFP! INFP! ESTJ!" And then later on, if I can coax them into taking the test, I'll determine if I'm right or not. And more often than not I'm right. Which makes me very happy, inside. For about five seconds, before I resort back to a monotonous, emotionless, psychopathic feeling of emptiness.

The debate about whether female INTJs actually exist is just entirely laughable. So... Really, whatever gets you through the day. Do you want to say we don't exist, I mean... Bottom line, you say we don't exist, but considering we're INTJs, we don't care. Because we're smarter than you. It's all good. I read thesaurus' for fun. What do you do? You paint your fingernails? Masturbate in your free time? I mean what do you do? I'm smarter than you. Anyway, proof of female INTJ. Thank you and have a wonderful night.

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1.  Kountoall    Saturday, April 12, 2014

Hi I'm also a INTJ and a female always nice to see someone like me out their but I was raised with ENFP mother so I feel that's what changed me a little and having a best friend who's a ENFP helps as well making me care about other more than I was if I didn't them. I find the argument that their can't be a INTJ female among the stupidest things I hear so what were rare we our out their being lovely freaks of nature.

2.  mr noone    Sunday, July 27, 2014

In terms of personal development ESFPs are great for INTJs. I have seen pretty deepish ESFPs.

ESFJs and me are not living on the same planet. I can handle them but the amount of miscommunication is just massive. I mean we are constantly speaking past to each other. I don't care prettyness etc.

ESFPs demonstrate their materialism directly but they are not dwelling on it in speech or showell it down your throat. Jenna Marbles is one great example of ESFP. They can be extremely blunt when they want. They have morbid sense of humour and even laugh at my sarcastic holocaust jokes. Try to do that with ESFJs. Of course if their IQ is low then...

But ISFPs are more interesting


3.  mr noone    Sunday, July 27, 2014

This YouTube channel
owner is very intelligent and an ESFP at the same time if I had to guess.
She is not compatible at all with Keirsey's ESFP profile but is very clearly an ESFP who is in well touch with her inner INTJ. Keirsey mixes up lots of non conventional ESFJs, ENFPs , ENFJs and ESFPs and claims Barack Obama as an ENFP while he is very clearly an ESFP. Zany ENFP? Absolutely not. Extraverted feeler? Nope.

4.  ln    Friday, August 15, 2014

as a Female INTJ i laughed all the way through this.
sounds like theres some serious internalized misogyny.
i know its hard being who we are in this society but trying to fit every single stereotype of an INTJ isn't the best way to deal with it. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. Try developing your Fi/Se and use mbti just as a starting off point, its never good to generalize.

5.  Jessika Endsley    Friday, August 15, 2014

For someone who laughed the whole way through you sure do lack a sense of humor.

6.  Michi    Tuesday, October 7, 2014

What makes you think that the woman you mentioned is an esfp. I can't see any Se in her?

7.  INTJ.ok.    Sunday, October 12, 2014

You sound young in your life experiences. After a while I dont care will turn into something more honest, which is so fucking foreign to the ruthless nature inside of us that you feel completely betrayed by your own personality.

8.  Jessika Endsley    Monday, October 13, 2014

It has happened since this post. I have a baby and husband. "I don't care" sounds so relaxing.

9.  Willy    Thursday, October 16, 2014

This looks more like a urgency of stating something to be our of the crowd, sounds like you're trying to hard to reach the stereotype. Being an INTJ it's not about staying away from people just because you're an INTJ, it means being aware of who you are and being smart enough to develop a life without being destroyed by your interaction with rest of the world.

10.  Jessika Endsley    Thursday, October 16, 2014

It was meant to be comedic.

11.  Hannah    Thursday, October 23, 2014

I agree, I test as INTJ most of the time (weak on the J) and over the last few years, my feelings and empathy have really evolved and matured and it's the best thing that's happened to me. I'll still approach even things to do with emotion logically but I'm a lot more understanding and find it easier to see or at least look for value in others. I definitely find it easier to feel empathy than I used to. Side note, one of my best friends is an ESFP and I love her to death. It's not that cut and dry, there's good and bad in everyone.

12.  sara    Friday, June 19, 2015

This is exactly how I feel all of the time. This (what would you call it? not a put down, I just don't know) 'article' made me almost die laughing because this crap has happened to me every day and my life. I'm in high school and I guess it might be early to diagnose myself as INTJ because others my age are so easily influenced by each other and their harmones, but seriously, while EVERYONE in my classes were talking about prom, their 'amazing' dresses and their stylists and hot dates and their spray tans; what am I doing? Sitting in a corner reading a book, hoping that none of these ditzes walk up to me while I scream in my head "good for you! You go out there and loose your virginity at age 15, get pregnant and loose your "hot" date, and realize 5 years later what a mistake you made because you were a dumb... and didn't think of that before-hand". Then I laugh out loud at my stupid little joke and seemingly everyone looks back at me and I can't help but start to think if telepathy is real or not, how that would work et cetera ...

13.  Dan    Monday, August 3, 2015

Young INTJs are possibly the most obnoxious personality type. But we all grow up and become the lovable goofs we secretly are. Hang in there ladyface.

14.  Melina    Tuesday, September 15, 2015

I'm an INTJ and I don't technically think I'm smarter than anyone else. It is just that some people annoy me with their ignorance and attention seeking. I can't really do anything about it, so I'm kind of like you. Why are you near me? Other than that, I've realized a lot of stuff about my feelings how I deal with crap. Of course, I'm still maturing.

15.  shutupandknit    Saturday, December 19, 2015

I actually find being diagnosed an "INTJ" rather distressing, particularly that as a female one, I'm practically an endangered species. Working in technology surrounded by male engineers my traits weren't noticeable. Until I ran into a male INFJ, in my personal life. Then it got awkward. :P

16.  roxx0209    Wednesday, December 30, 2015

I didn't sit well with me too. It looked like if all this INTJ issue has her on cloud nine. I did the test some time ago and when I got the results it was kind of funny. Humanity is always pretending to have the answers to all the problems... how can the existence of a human being be reduced to four letters?.. people change their ways as time passes through, we matured and adapt to circumstances, physically and pshycologically. I'm sorry but I couldn't read past her ego and her blunt idiocy.

17.  Tallis Spire    Tuesday, March 1, 2016

INTJ here. Though one time I scored even on S and N (IxTJ). Not sure what that means. I actually very recently started a book on enneagram. I hadn't heard of it before then. I just determined I'm a 6. But I haven't read further so haven't made an informed decision.

Anyhow, yes on little to no friends especially females. I can't stand romcoms or feel good movies. Comedy has to be intelligent or dark humor. And horror has to be believable. I'm a dominant personality when I do speak- very outspoken on topics that I'm knowledgeable on. I'm into science. And I'm a deep thinker. My empathy is more towards groups of people rather than individuals. I give more value to principles than to personality.

I find myself questioning why people say or do certain things during emotionally heightened states as if it's rational to be so resolute at that time. It gets on my nerves because it's just not logical. Not to say I don't act irrationally during times when I'm hurt or angry. But I just know when it's ridiculous to assume any position on a subject. For instance, day one of a couple's 50th break up and he/she says, "I am never speaking to her/him again." I'm thinking, "I really don't care whether you do or don't. What gets me is that you a) think your feelings won't change, b) actually believe your own words, c) haven't given any consideration to your past behavior, and d) truly believe your emotions won't change. Another example is the firm resolve during a hangover, "I'm never drinking again!" My thoughts, "Do you know how many times I've said that in my life during a hangover? ZERO! Because I'm not stupid."

Which leads me to a question. Do you value integrity? I hold a lot of value on my word. But I've learned over the years that's not true for most others so I use what I know of their behavior to form expectations initially. It drives me nuts if I don't do what I say I'm going to do though. Which makes me tend to give vague answers to some questions or be indecisive of how to answer. For example I have a hard time being punctual especially if doing it makes me anxious. Every holiday my mom says, "We are having lunch at 1:00 and don't want to wait around to eat. Do you think you and the kids can be here by then?" Finally this last year I tried a different response, "I can't give you a definite yes or no because that's a week away. And if I don't show up at the time I say then I'll have 'ruined everyone's holiday' and suddenly have 'no consideration for anyone but myself'. We'll arrive when we arrive. It won't offend us if y'all start or altogether eat without us." No, what offends me is the melodramatic reaction that shames me each holiday because I'm so selfish for not being able to single-handedly get myself and two children ready on a perfect schedule (not to mention 'everyone' truly means only my mom because no one else lays in bed Christmas night thinking the whole day was a complete disaster since I was 30 minutes late).

I get the stupid people comment. Though I'm careful about people understanding my meaning for stupid. Behavior like the examples in paragraph two would be the epitome. Likewise, self righteous, indignant, arrogant, haughty, judgemental, prejudice/racist/separatist, boundary pushing, or the emotionally-manipulative are characteristics or behaviors that I'd classify as stupid. And people who over-identify with their gender or gender roles (girly girls and macho guys).

My common complaint by some of my exes is that I think/analyze/read too much. In the beginning they each were drawn to my intelligence and appreciated my ability to critically think. Funny how they suddenly found flaw in it when they realized it meant they couldn't effectively argue their bad behavior. I don't argue for the sake of pride. If I'm not positive, I don't pretend to be an expert and won't comment (once again my word has value).

Non-fact based or otherwise irrelevant arguments are a waist of time. People who state their opinions as matter-of-facts are just frustrating. Objectivity makes sense to me. Even if I myself FEEL that something is right/wrong, I won't do more than state it. If someone tries to argue it I'll usually say, "Are you seriously going to argue an opinion? I mean debate me on the beliefs that led you to your conclusion. But to attempt assuming any opinion can be right or wrong shows that you truly don't understand the concept of subjectivity.

How much do other INTJs identify with me on these things?

18.  Vivian Li    Sunday, October 23, 2016

Embrace your INTJ nature; who cares what other people think?

19.  Miyuki San    Wednesday, November 16, 2016

i am one intj female...and i really recognize myself ...
I'm grateful to this girl who dared to talk about it.

20.  M. K. Hajdin    Saturday, December 24, 2016

This person seems to not know the difference between being a female INTJ and being a narcissistic asshole sociopath.

21.  M. K. Hajdin    Saturday, December 24, 2016

It wasn't.

22.  Jessika Endsley    Saturday, December 24, 2016

Cry into a pillow then. If you don't like something, stop watching it buddy.

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